Fear and elation

Life in the asylum system can be an emotional up-and-down. I met a woman recently that had fled from her husband, a beautiful young woman, one to die for; she spoke of her fears of being sent back to her country, where her life would certainly be intolerable, and how she is scared especially at night in case her husband turns up - and yet at the same time, she was full of the joy of a second youth, of being free and independent after years of silent suffering; and although I could only give her precautionary advice about the husband, I was able to give her a lifeline of hope about her position in the UK. For her safety, I cannot give any details, but it was clear from her circumstances that there was little prospect of her being sent back, and every chance of her getting "leave to remain" next year; this was all self-evident from her case, yet no-one had been able to tell her this, so she was obviously hugely relieved, and our mutual admiration was obvious.

"Samira" as I will call her reminded me of another young woman I once knew, the one whose tragic life was what brought me into Asylum City in the first place years ago: we loved each other then, but could not prevail over cruel circumstances and our own shortcomings. It is richly tempting, but I will not fall in love with "Samira", nor can I let her fall for me, though I believe she could.

I will tell the story of me and "Ziba" another time, the beautiful Ziba.